Tuesday, July 29, 2008
i better post before someone complains.
*ahem ahem* tskk. people not so free okay. (:
nothing much happened this week though.
only that its a tortorous week start and im not looking forward to the next three days.
monday i was dying during chemistry lesson cause i was so tired.
then today i was nearly falling asleep during lit test and i took all the oppourities to sleep during geography lesson today.
but i couldnt sleep properly cause miss lee kept walking to my side of the classroom.
anyways these few days im always distracted by every small movements that little things make,
thats bad cause i dont listen in class then .
then huiyi was being random.
she started doing that heart thingy to me everytime i look at her.
wah. save me. i got a crazy classmate!
somehow i think i have more inspiration to write 华文微型小说 better than normal chinese composition.
even my sitting partner can tell the difference.
when im doing normal compo i will always stone there for at least 5 mins.
then when i was writing the xiao shou i just immediately wrote and surprisingly i could finish in 45mins.
hahah. cause its only the draft/planning (:
tomorrow is going to be another terrible but i will survive!
im really tired.
i can't do it.
black&white makes grey. @9:36 PM
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
busy busy busy.
this week is going to be a busy week
not to mention today.
we had four tests all cramped into one day. spelling, literature, chinese compo and geography.
spelling isnt really counted a test but still. its something counted in your ppr.
spelling was in the morning then after recess, it was tests all the way.
geography then literature then chinese.
when i finished writing the chinese compo i realised that i still had 15mins of free time.
i didnt bother checking no matter how many times su lao shi told us to check through.
i just fell flat on my table and dozed off.
now im hoping that i wouldnt have another of this day. so tired.
1. the previous night i slept at 2.30 studying for geog and finishing up my work.
2. i couldnt sleep in the school bus as i normally did cause i needed to study for gong han and geog.
3. i couldnt sleep in class cause i got homework to rush up.
4. my brain was going to die after all the tests and i couldnt sleep cause i had band.
5. by the time i reached home it was 8.
6. i wanted to sleep after dinner but my mum didnt let me.
and now im seeing stars. i really want to sleep!!!!
and tomorrow i have to arrive early to school for some councilors meeting but then i wouldnt know if my bus would come early or late.
i hope it comes early tomorrow or i will have a bad start to my day.
and thursday i have indian dance presentation and pe-cum-lit presentation.
and friday i have chemistry test.
now then i really need my sleep but my mum doest let me!
thats maybe cause she doesnt know how it feels to have a lack of sleep and go through four test and band and coming home to not be allowed to sleep.
rah. even my brother thinks my school is mad.
and worst of all. i think im going mad with the school. :|
what will i say tomorrow.
i dont see the need to explain.
black&white makes grey. @10:57 PM
Sunday, July 20, 2008
yesterday i was too tired to post.
by the time i reached home. i was half dead.
then i bathed and jump straight into bed.
yesterday my cg outing was kind of screw in a way that everyone was late.
we all came at different timings so we couldnt play games that needed a large number of people.
when i arrived at 12plus , there were only grace, chris, bella, davidson, jin. marcus, dexter and friends (but they went cycling).
after that davidson's and marcus's friends came. yu hern and silvas.
then we went to play captain's ball (:
we were having lots of fun then zhiting and her friend joey came (:
after playing like crazy
we went to buger king to eat and slack then we went back to the beach.
by then marcus and chris left and tim, ben ended up jumping into the sea and tried to pull people with him.
i was being dragged into the sea cause i managed to out run ben two times that he decided to drag me in.
then after that we dragged everyone who wasnt wet in.
so everyone got wet except tim and joel.
it was fun and i was constantly being thrown into the sea. i think everyone had the same fate cause we alwayus gang up on people that werent paying attention.
after that i took a bus to cityhall and then mrt to raffles place to watch the nbc honours' bands
i was late for the concert but i arrived just in time to hear them annouce st' nicks band results.
and i managed to cheer (:
then during the interval there were fireworks!
they were so pretty!
then after the concert.
we wanted to go for supper but it was late so in the end we all went home.
then kialin and sijia made me missed my bishan station cause they had my money and by the time they returned me everything the door close already.
then we ended up at macs.
so by the time i reached home it was like 11 plus.
hahaha. there is geog, spelling and lit test on tues.
then friday there is chem test.
and there is band on tues thurs and fri
tomorrow is racial harmony day and im wearing school uniform.
monday i have piano lesson.
wednesday i have to go there. like there.
so im not free next week at all.
sighs.
i dont want it but do you know
black&white makes grey. @9:39 PM
Friday, July 18, 2008
okay. finally history test was over.
which means that band break is over.
i was enjoying it that everyday i have a choice whether i wanted to come home late or not.
but im always coming back late.
i spent tuesday and wednesday mugging with jiahui and christine.
on tuesday i mugged with christine at the primary one place. under the stairs.
its was quite fun and christine was making everything so comical.
luaghed and laughed and it wasnt very productive.
wednesday wasnt productive either.
i was mugging with jiahui and christine in the canteen.
we were making a lot of noise (:
and jiahui drank 3 packets of winter melon drink. at least i only drank two cups of ice tea!
thursday i went home with ailynn, bernice, crystal, huirou and erica.
while they went to j8's mos to study i went home to bathe first.
then i joined them and it was very productive.
i managed to finish all my notes.
ailynn and erica left first then me bernice and crystal went to macs to continue studying
after we studied we went library to continue studying till around 8.30pm
then bernice left and me and crystal went to the S11 hawker centre then i went home.
i slept on the table for a while before i continue studying.
so finally it was friday and i was looking forward to enjoying myself.
but then after science lessons i suddenly got very pissed off with something.
then the whole day i was either distracted or just not there.
i know im thinking of something but somehow i cannot figure out.
then i ened up watching BATMAN -- THE DARK KNIGHT with the section.
it was a great movie. lots of actions (:
have a few scary parts but other then that i thought that batman's gadgets were damn cool. all his stuff are so high-techno and its so coool.
especially his car and the machine that he used to find the bullets and fingerprints.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. the the joker was acted very well.(:
tomorrow there is cg outing at east coast then i will join my section to go for the concerts of the honours band (:
bet tomorrow i will be dead tired.
oh what the hell.
what makes you think that i didnt try getting it back.
do you know what i did
or are you just saying it from what you see.
until you know whats really going on.
you should really just stick to yourself.
wishing i could stop
black&white makes grey. @10:37 PM
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
feeling more relaxed after nbc is over.
we had a break from band for one hole week.
give me sufficient time to concentrate on my studies.
guess i cant just leave them there and expect myself to grow clever just by staring at them.
but then listening to lectures by my parents can be such a tortue.
my father has been nagging me about my studies since i woke up late once and was nearly late for school.
thats like 3 months ago.
he nags about the same stuff. give the same reasons. give the same solutions. scolds me about the same stuffs.
but im not deaf or pretending that i dont understand english.
i do absorb what people say. i can hear what you say.
its not about knowing what to do but more of my own willingness.
if im not willing to put in any effort then there is no point in forcing me to do what i dont want to do.
its as good as not doing it so why bother.
i do what i think benefits me the best and i dont have to live only to prove that im worth living in this world.
i dont know why studies is everything to them.
not that studies isnt important to me. but it isnt everything of me.
everytime i do well in something and i feel proud of it. you just brush it off one side and said i could have done better.
everything i dont do welll in something to scold me like i just made a grave mistake.
i dont study for the sake of that few piece of paper neither to i study to provide a face to show to the world.
why cant you understand that i dont trust them anymore.
what right do they have to let me trust them.
just because they are pros. or just because they are liars.
who are the ones that gave me hope only to let me down.
just give me some peace and stop bothering me anymore.
nothing you do will make me believe them ever again.
okay. i know that was random but i just needed a place to rant everything down.
at least i can sleep earlier these few days.
okay rahh. i got a lot of things to do and there are so many beetles bothering me.
i promise you im going to groan if i see one more.
there is like ten over in my room and im constantly throwing them out of the window.
and i havent been sleeping in class.
isnt that great!! hahahaha.
and im beginning to enjoy my times in school.
at least it isnt so stagnent anymore (:
why cant i break out of it.
its my choice not yours.
black&white makes grey. @11:24 PM
Sunday, July 13, 2008
OH MY GOSH!! CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW HAPPY I AM!!!!!
NBC NBC!!
WE GOT GOLD GOLD GOLD
AND WE WERE THIRD IN DIVISION!!! HAHAHAHAHAH
YES (:
WE DID IT!! SNSB BRAVO!!
black&white makes grey. @10:50 PM
Friday, July 11, 2008
this week have been energy draining and i would much appreciate a good night sleep.
today we had band and mr ong didnt come.
marked scores and played a while.
i realised that i really no confidence in playing.
its either cause i cant play.
or im just simply forcing myself to believe i cant play properly.
ahwells. practise makes perfect (:
i still have two more years so let see what happens along the way.
after that went for dinner at lim-kopi and we started talking about what the seniors used to do. seniors ranging from greys to the present yellows and blues.
its always the juniors that remembers what the seniors do and the seniors will forget.
after that i went home. and i slept on the bus again!
lucky i woke up in time. i woke up when the bus was about to leave my stop larh!
then i hurry press the bell and got down. half the bus was looking at me and i bet they thought i was a crazy nut.
you wont fancy someone suddenly waking up from her sleep and runs down the bus.
especially if she looks so panicky.
cause the day before yesterday i also slept on the bus and i wasnt very lucky.
i woke up and found myself in some expressway.
i was like "wah. shit!"
then i got off the next stop and by that time it was already 8 in the night and i had a lot of work to do!
on my left was a park and if i corss the road it would be a forest.
i was on the verge to call my parents until i decided that i could settle this on my own.
i just walked to any bus stop on the opposite side till i found a bus stop which had my bus.
by the time i reached home i was so tired but then again. i got work so there goes the fact that i might have an early night.
this week have been studying for tests, rushing up homework, rushing from here to there, practising for NBC, fighting to keep awake, etc.
and looking at the test scope that the school gave was not one bit comforting.
you should see the amount of test they gave larh.
maybe not as much as sec4s but still. im only a sec2.
which means sec3 and 4 wouldnt be any much better.
its like everything you do counts so even if you want to hand up late or anyhow do some questions you would always be thinking if it would affect my result.
and its so ironic that when i was in sec1 i was complaining about how many tests and assignments there were and now that im in sec2, im like thinking how honeymoon it was in sec1 and i bet when i go sec3, i would be thinking the same about sec2.
and you. stop thinking that you are such a big shoot in my life
cause im telling you that you are not.
stop raising your voice cause you think i will listen to you
cause you are wrong.
the only time i will ever listen to you is when you really know what you are talking about.
there is band prac tomorrow!
the last one before nbc. hope it turns out well (:
NBC in two more days :|
im not willing, so accpet that.
black&white makes grey. @11:09 PM
Sunday, July 6, 2008
havent been blogging for a while.
once the school term start i havent had a lot of time to go onto the computer
even if its right beside me.
or maybe i just didnt feel like switching it on. (:
this is going to be a long weekend.
have been looking forward to it since thursday cause there was no test on friday at all.
so i was relaxing and well, finally i can sleep soundly on my school bus on friday cause there is nothing to study for, nothing to worry about and i just focused on catching up on my sleep.
i think i should pay attention to literature lessons more.
this whole week i have been drfiting in and out of lit lesson.
half-hearing what mrs nath was saying and whatever half i managed to hear i forget the next moment.
and i wonder why it only occurs during lit lessons.
and these few days im like a floating ghost everywhere i go.
my mind just isnt where it should be.
since friday i have been having this weird feeling like butterflies in my stomach.
i couldnt focus at all whatever i do.
so irritating. i could not even sleep properly which explains why im a floating ghost.
today even better. over lunch my mother was lecturing me about not focusing these few days.
i knew what she was saying. every single word.
i was even contradicting her in my mind but when she finished talking, i totally didnt know what she was talking about.
i was puzzled but i didnt have the mood to do anything.
i spent my whole day trying to get myself to focus on something but apparently nothing worked so i just gave up and stare.
my brother claimed that he did a funny face in front of me but i didnt react at all.
the funny thing is that i didnt even know he was in front of me. let alone do a funny face.
then just now my mum made me do maths in fronnt of her cause she claims i wasted a whole sunday doing nothing.
i half-heartedly went down and stared at all the questions.
i knew how to do them but my mind and hands didnt feel like doing anything.
i had to force myself to finish solving 5 question at a speed of a dying snail before my mother decided that it was late enough to sleep.
but she expects me to finish the rest of the questions.
i wonder when i can find the mood to do it.
tomorrow is youth day yet i dont feel anything at all.
i dont even want to do anything. i just feel like going somewhere on my own for the sake of nothing.
maybe i just need time and space to sort some things out.
i shall go somewhere maybe next week end or the next next one when i have lesser stuff on my back.
NBC is coming. 7 more days.
this is a battle i must fight alone.
black&white makes grey. @10:33 PM
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
i think i didnt start off the week very nicely.
quite grumpy and didnt really have the heart to pay attention in class.
everything seems to just go pass me and i dont really care.
havent been alert these few days and the rest is just spent on my own.
but i shan't go into that.
the fact that i have decided to put it behind me is good i guess.
maybe cause i already see no point in thinking of a solution
or maybe cause i just want to forget everything.
and accordding to someone i looked like i was being possessed when i walked by her class *AHEM AHEM*
today's band started off with a big scolding.
actually i expected that already.
it wasnt that enjoyable with the fact that NBC is round the corner
and i cant play for nuts.
or at least something is always bound to go wrong
band is going to be depressing till NBC is over.
till then i shall continue to jiayou! (:
tomorrow is going to be a better day.
all i want is to forget.
forget all that i have been holding on
black&white makes grey. @11:32 PM
