yesterday was haha. kind of heart-pumping
there was chem test in the morning. and the teacher was super fast in starting the exam.
until only after i receive the test paper that i realise that i was still looking through my notes.
hmmm. after the test. everything was quite calm.
band was. erps. fun and okay.
miss sia wasnt here and so mr choy took us.
part of the band room was in darkness and well. i was sitting in the darkness.
i realised that ET was the only section in the darkness. kind of a funny sight.
it wasnt really like cannot see anything but just dark.
i got lost play livin' la vida loca cause i was sight reading and well, i was trying hard to figure out where the heck was the squad playing till.
then sectionals, sijia me and chirstine cleared up the bench cause we cou;dnt stand the mess.
and now the bench looks quite neat :))
and i managed to practise sousa spartans livin' la vida loca and singapore rhaspsody.
haha. quite happy with myself.
walked home with choo today cause i didnt feel like staying in school to eat.
well.
i have homework to be done and i should be mugging.
so, yeah. time for me to go.
and i was doing quite a bit of reflection on myself. thats what i usually do when im alone.
which means 1/4 of a day at least
i dont even need to plan for a time to do a reflection.
it just comes naturally to me.
like everythime i think im not up to standard or expectations. i will start reflecting for who knows what reason.
like i have time like that.
but yeah. hmmm. i realised that im seriously not up to my own expectations and what i set off to do at the beginning.
im not a good comforter.
im not a good daughter. always making my mama so pissed off with me.
im always getting irritated on weekends with my family for always fighting. when i shouldnt.
im not a good leader. i just feel that im not. like not up to my expectations and others.
im not a good student. always dreaming during lessons. and choosing to slack when i could study and doing rush hour work and get so worked up with my results when i know that it was entirely my stupid fault.
and im not been reading my bible recently. i need to talk to god. serious.
hmm. should stop here.
yeah. i shall study.
making the A1s all run to me.
more like me running towards them.
sighs. my mama will be pissed again if i dont get them.
black&white makes grey. @1:04 AM
